Midnight Shadows Guided Games GENEsis: DOFP Genesis In Character Days of Future Past [Other] Winter is Coming [Carol / Bucky]


02-12-2019
08:47 AM
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02-12-2019, 08:47 AM
[In-Character] [Post #141]
Carol contemplated the feelings that were running their course through her. Her love for Bucky, the pain she felt over having to tell Nate that she could not continue things with him. That it would be a lie if she pretended to feel something for him that wasn’t there. She loved Nate, but wasn’t in love. She had loved the familiarity that he had brought, the ease they had so quickly slipped in to.

But if she had to be honest, it had mostly been Nate who had initiated things. She had just gone along with it because at the moment, it had been what she needed. She had been alone. For so long. And Nate was familiar.

“I’m fine. I’m going to be fine.” She told him softly, his heart a calming beat against her palm and she took comfort from that.

Looking at his facial features, his jaw shut tightly, her hand travelled back up, her fingers brushing against his skin to make him ease up. “I would lie if I said no, but you did.” Her lips curled slightly up, remembering how quite literal he had done so as well. And in the end, she would have chosen that same way over and over again.

“Don’t feel guilty over it.” Her fingers stroked his jaw, the stubble a prickling sensation against her finger tips. Her thoughts going back to Nate and she let out a sigh. “Nate and I, we wouldn’t have lasted.” Not with how they had gotten together in the first place. “I was lonely, he was in destress over his sister... We were a known to each other. Safe. Familiar. It was what I needed, what he needed at the moment, but he’s not who I want.” Her eyes found his again, making him clearly see that there was just one man on her mind. That man was him. Just him. Only him. Always him. That should have scared her, such a powerful thought already but it felt right. He felt right.
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02-17-2019
06:05 AM
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02-17-2019, 06:05 AM
[In-Character] [Post #142]
Standing out on the balcony, with a mug of steaming coffee in her hands, Carol lets out a deep sigh. Her breath comes out visibly and she know it's only a matter of time before they would have snow covering the streets in the city. It's cold, she's bundled up from head to toe and wonders why she couldn't have met Caitlin somewhere warmer.

Because she had to lay low.

Muttering softly under her breath, she takes a sip from the hot liquid and just smiles. Okay, the coffee was making it slightly better. She feels a prickling sensation on the back of her neck, like someone is watching her and turning slowly she sees Bucky standing at the entrance to the balcony. He's watching the skies but the moment he drops his eyes to her she can't help but give him a little wave.

He gives her one of those crooked half smiles and she feels her heart stutter in her chest. She knows why he's standing there, not trusting that she won't be snatched from the sky by a sentinel. Her soldier, her Bucky.

Letting out another sigh she turns around and there's Caitlin, landing in front of her nose with a grin on her face. The woman was dressed for a breezy autumn and Carol felt jealous. "I guess you're not cold." Carol muttered some more. Cait laughed, giving Carol a hug.

"No, I'm not. Lately I've been running warmer too but it looks a bit weird if I go outside with just shorts and a shirt." Cait sounded amused, and Carol just shook her head.

"How are you? The baby?" Carol asked. Cait looked up, and over Carol's shoulder. "He can't hear us. Soundproof glass." because she knew that she was looking at Bucky.

"It's not that..." She sounded pensive, ready to say more but then changed her mind. "Nevermind." Caitlin looked back at Carol with a smile on her face. "I'm fine. Growing a bit restless at times. These flying trips are helpful. Gabe is with me right now, sitting on top of the building. Baby is fine too, she's taking after her daddy. Been tapping into her powers a little, they feel the same as his. It scares me a little sometimes." Cait stared ahead for a moment, shook her head and then turned her focus back on Carol.

"What about you? Are you going stir crazy yet?" Cait took the mug of coffee from Carol and took a sip from it.
"Eh… no?" Carol felt heat creep up her cheeks, quickly taking the mug back and taking her own sip. Caitlin started laughing. Of course she would laugh, that woman probably already knew what was going on.
"You've been busy." Cait sounded amused.
"Well yes and no." Carol murmured. It's not that in the days they've been here she managed to get him naked whenever she wanted. Not that she needed to see him naked or half dressed. Just looking at him, touching him and stealing moments when he would let her in, they were enough.
"I see."
"You said that at the coffee bar too." Carol looked at her friend. "What do you see?"
"Tell me what you feel when you're around him." Caitlin just asked instead of answering.
"I know this sounds maybe strange but I always know when he walks into the room. I find him with my eyes and for a moment my heart stops, I hold my breath and this strong urge to jump into his arms arises. I think he knows, because whenever he looks at me there's this ghost of a smile on his face. You should see him smile, Cait. Fuck, it's panty melting." Carol sighed, a smile of her own on her lips. Remembering when she had given him Ben & Jerry's for dinner and pizza for dessert. That look in his eyes when he had seen the pint of ice cream, it made that flutter in her chest intensify. "And those smiles, they're just for me to see." Looking at Caitlin, she bit her lower lip a question ready to roll of her tongue.
"Ask, Carol."
"Am I crazy? Is this real? Did they put me up to making me feel like this?" She had been wondering, ever since the cabin. She wondered if this connection she felt between her and Bucky wasn't one made by the Services.
"Oh sweetheart, this can't be faked, even I couldn't force this on you." Cait wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "What else has you worried?" It was always hard to hide things from Caitlin.
"What about him?" It sounded no more than a whisper.
"It's almost like he gravitates towards you. Even now, I know he's looking at you, because there's nothing else on his mind." Cait smiled a knowing smile. "No matter who put those orders into his consciousness … whatever he's feeling for you, they're not fabricated. They've become a part of him."

Carol lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding, leaning into the embrace of her friend. "Sometimes I can't breath with what I'm feeling. It's so intense, I never felt like this before. Not this fast, not this strongly."
"You're in love, Carol."
"I know." Ever since that ride on the subway, she had known. "But how, Cait? This fast?"
"Love isn't exact science. It comes and goes, it's either fast or it takes time." Cait smiled. "Gabe and me, I told him no several times when he asked me out. I kept thinking about how much I had been hurt by Alex and didn't want another Summers to break my heart. Gabe however, he knew. He was persistent until I caved."
"When did you know? That you loved him?"
"The moment he subconsciously started sharing his food with me." Cait started laughing when she saw Carol's expression. "He has a thing with sharing food. As in he doesn't do that. Ever. Well and then he went a won me a big ass fluffy, pink unicorn."
Carol started to laugh. "A pink unicorn?"
"Yeah, don't ask. So, what about Nathan?"
"I… I haven't spoken to him." and Carol felt guilty, because there was a man who would do anything for her to keep her safe as well. Who loved her. But she didn't love him back. Not like he did her. Oh she felt love for Nate, but she wasn't in love. Not like how she was with Bucky.
"You do know you have to. Rather sooner than later."
"I know that too. I will break his heart."
"People do recover from heartbreak, but you can't leave him in the dark like this." Cait looked up at the sky and a smile curled on her lips suddenly. "Gabe is growing agitated. I think that's my cue to leave."
"Will you come back to visit?" Carol asked.
"Of course, honey. I'm sure I can convince Gabe for another flying trip." Cait turned to her, giving her a very warm hug.
"You weren't kidding about being hot." Carol sounded amused, returning the hug in kind. Cait started laughing, stepping back and giving her a wink.
"Go back inside, you'll freeze something viable off if you stay outside." And with that, Cait pushed off and she was up in the sky, leaving Carol behind with a now cold mug of coffee. Great. Turning towards the glass sliding doors, she made her way back inside and was met with a new steaming mug of coffee.

"You made that for me?" She asked, exchanging the cold one for the warm one in his hand. Smiling, she looked up at him.
"You weren't drinking from the one outside. I figured it must have gotten cold."
"Thank you." Stepping closer, she gave him a kiss on his cheek. Yeah she was very much in love with this man.
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02-17-2019
06:25 AM
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02-17-2019, 06:25 AM
[In-Character] [Post #143]
Bucky looked at the tablet discarded on the table. How many hours had he spent with it? How long had he dug through all the files Carol had unearthed that were somewhat related to Steve. It had given him nothing. No lead to go ahead and find out just where his old friend was.

Eventually, Bucky had given up trying to find something Carol had not found on all this time.

“Buck?” the voice was soft as it hailed from the door behind him.
“Yeah”, he murmured, not looking at Carol.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine”, was all he said.

Silence stood between them for a moment before Carol spoke again.

“You’re not fine.”
“Carol, please don’t.”
“Can we talk?”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Your friend. You.”
“I can’t”, Bucky shook his head keeping his eyes on the tablet.
“Bucky …”
“I told you, I can’t.” He said and stood, pushing his arms up and over his head. He stretched for a moment, then turned as if to see whether Carol had left the room yet. The elephant in the room, however, was the fact that he sat here, at almost midnight wearing heavy cargo pants and boots. His shirt would easily go under the one armed jacket hanging across the back of his chair.

As usually, he was combat ready.

It was a compulsion. He just had to. He had to be ready to leap into battle the moment it showed up on his doorstep.
“You’re going to have to talk to me about this”, he insisted.
Bucky pushed his head down against the window sill and leaned his forehead against the window. “Do we have to do this now?”
“Yes because if we don’t we never will. You always do this, Bucky.”
“Always?” he asked her, momentarily turning his head to look at her. And just as the word had left his mouth he somewhat deflated. It was a bad move to belittle whatever it was that was happening between them with comments such as this. “What do I do?” he asked instead.
“You’re waiting for the next black suit on your doorstep.”
“Because that’s what we have to do…”
“No. For fuck’s sake, we don’t. Mourn, Buck. Mourn him. Mourn yourself. Be angry at the world. You have every reason to be.”
“He’s not dead.”
“And what if he is?”

Bucky said nothing, just shook his head and tipped forward. His hands covering his face he leaned until his elbows hit his knees. “Then no one’s left …” he ground out, swallowing against what felt like a constricted throat.
“But I am”, she murmured as she flew to his side, gently prying her way onto his lap. He shook his head and leaned into her embrace. Carol heaved a deep breath into her lungs before she spoke. “I want you in your damned underwear, and not always the gear.”

“We’re out in the open…”
“No, we’re hidden.”
“No, we’re not.”
“Then what should I do?” She sounded guilt-ridden as if she was making and breaking their situation.
“Believe me” Bucky ground out. That they didn’t just mess around. That she was in danger. That some apartment she thought she had bought off the books was really enough to deter the Services. They knew this place. They had all the places pegged.

“You’re paranoid.” She ground out.
“Maybe”, was all he said as he pushed his face into the crook of her neck.
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02-17-2019
06:39 AM
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02-17-2019, 06:39 AM
[In-Character] [Post #144]
Okay, twenty-four eggs. She could do this. Carol stared at the bowl filled with raw eggs, and bit her lower lip. Just take one and crack it in a bowl. It was that simple. And yet she looked at the eggs like they were going to bite her fingers off. A warm hand slipped around hers, guiding her to the bowl of eggs and helped her take one out.

"They don't bite." He sounded amused.
"Are you sure?" Because she had seen a lot of things in her life and she wouldn't be surprised if murderous eggs were a thing now.
"Yes."

Cracking the egg in the empty bowl, she cursed when one of the egg shells fell in. Fishing it out with a fork, she tried a second and then a third. She stopped with a forth, finally getting the hang of it and got a whisk pressed in her hands. Right.

Whisking away, she poured some milk with the eggs as instructed before. Some salt, some pepper.

Next to her a skillet was heating, butter melting. The whisk replaced by a spatula. She knew the basics, knew that she had to pour the eggy-batter into the pan and use the spatula. And usually there it went wrong.

The egg mixture went into the pan and she blanked. His hand wrapped around hers again, guiding her to the skillet and started to move the batter around. Making sure that it wouldn't stick to the pan, scrambling them.

"I have no trouble fighting alien forces, but when it comes to something as simple as this..." she breathed out, watching the eggs starting to form clumps in that familiar scrambled way.
"You're doing fine." He told her, his body a warm presence behind her.
"Cereal is easier." She muttered.
"But does it taste as good?" He pulled his hand away, turning off the stove and taking the skillet from it. She watched how he divided the eggs on two set out plates, already made up with slices of toast and baked strips of bacon. Setting the plates on the table, she sat down behind one and used her fork to scoop some of the eggs up. Blowing, she stuck it in her mouth and waited for it to taste awful.
"Okay, this is better." She agreed, feeling a little proud that she hadn't burned it and that it actually tasted decent. She waited for him to taste it, her heart skipping a beat when he stuck his fork in his mouth. He chewed, swallowed and gave her an approving smile.
"Yes, this is better." He agreed.
"You're sure? You're not just saying that to spare my feelings. Because you know, big girl. I can handle it if you don't like it." But deep down, she wanted him to like it.
"Carol, I like it. It tastes not burned."
"Good." But then his words sunk in and she narrowed her eyes at him. "Wait… Are you teasing me?" She watched his lips curl, a smile ready to break through. And it was the most breathtaking thing she had ever seen.
"Maybe." Was his answer as he stuck another fork full in his mouth.
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02-17-2019
06:50 AM
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02-17-2019, 06:50 AM
[In-Character] [Post #145]
It was dark. Dark and quiet. For once the somewhat constant noises of intercourse from the next room had ceased. So they did sleep after all. Bucky inhaled deeply, closed his eyes. The darkness was nice. And the new mattress was an improvement over the previous one. Still, sleep did not come.

His body was not used to regular downtime. A sleeping cycle was basically non-existent. He slept when he could. And it was best when it coincided with Carol lying next to him.

Both of them were on their sides. Spooning after some slow and intense sex of their own earlier. She pushed against his chest with her back while he folded around her perfectly.

“You're not sleeping” She murmured.
“Can't.” Was his response.
“What's on your mind?”
“This.” He said, then added “us”.
“Tell me.” Her voice had been soft before, but now it dropped lower.
“It’s been so long, Carol.”
“I know.”
“It feels like a different lifetime.”
“Buck, it was.” A whisper.

He drew closer, pulling his leg up a little further and tightening his hold on her. “I’m okay with that”, he mused. “As long as I have you, I’m okay.” A smile slipped into his words.
“I’m here.” She said.
“I know.”
“Still no sleep, huh?”
“Still no sleep.”
“Should I get you something?”
“Couple of bricks to replace the mattress with?”
“But you said it was fine.” Her tone went up just a little.
“It is. But you asked …”
She harrumphed a little.
“There’s nothing I need. I like … this.” Laying here in the dark, holding her.
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02-17-2019
07:10 AM
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02-17-2019, 07:10 AM
[In-Character] [Post #146]
She knew something was wrong, subconsciously her brain was trying to tell her to wake the fuck up. Dragging herself out of her sleep, not fast enough to her liking. Her eyes flashed open, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. Gasping for air, she immediately turned her head to her left and was met with a sleeping Bucky, lying on his back next to her.

Or so she thought. His brows were pinched, his breathing matched hers. Her hand moved to his chest, his rhythm fast. Too fast.

She had been mimicking him. And he was having a nightmare.

"Bucky?" She moved her hand up, to his face. Brushing his hair away, stroking gently. "You have to wake up." She spoke softly, her hands gliding over his face. He moaned, she heard his arm come to life and she sat half up.

He was fisting the sheets, another moan. His features contorting, like he was in pain and it tugged at her heart. She didn't like seeing him like this. "Bucky… Buck, please wake." She placed her hand against his human shoulder, could feel the cold sweat on his skin. Carol gently pushed him. When that didn't work she pushed harder. Yet he didn't want to wake. No matter how hard she pushed. If she didn't watch herself she would push him out of the bed.

Carol sat up on her knees, next to him, biting her lower lip as she watched him go through the motions of his nightmare. She could only imagine what he was dreaming, what horrors he was conjuring up in his mind. His back arched, his bionic arm pulling at the mattress, which she was certain would get destroyed if she didn't do something. Pulling away the covers, she crawled on top of him, straddling him.

Leaning forward, her hands pushed down on his shoulders with every last bit of strength she could muster, she figured this was either a very bad plan or it would work and she got him to wake up. Or what if he woke up and he wouldn't recognise her?

"Listen to my voice. Whatever you're dreaming. It isn't real, do you hear me?" She looked down at his face, that handsome face that shouldn't be in so much pain. "Bucky, you need to come back to me." He arched his back again, another moan but it was softer this time. "I know you can hear me. Wake up, and I'll let you have desserts for breakfast..." She leaned in closer, brushing her lips against his. Hoping the touch would jolt him awake.

"Come back to me, please." Resting her forehead against his, she closed her eyes. Her right hand, stopped pressing down on his left shoulder. Carol turned her touch into a gentle one, her fingers skimming first over the seams there and slowly trailing down his bionic arm with just the tenderest of strokes until she reached his hand. Caressing his fist, his fingers long enough for him to release his grip on the sheets, the mattress even.

She moved back up his arm, back to his shoulder, her fingers gliding back and forth over the connection between flesh and metal until she heard the change in his breathing.

"Carol?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you on top of me?" She could hear his confusion.
"You had a nightmare." She felt his hands come up, moving to her hips. "You didn't want to wake up." And that scared me shitless.
"And this was your way to do so?"
"You were so deep in it, nothing else worked. Do you remember? The nightmare?"
"No… yes." He sighed.
"Want to talk about it." She still hadn't lifted her head up, or opened her eyes.
"Not now."
"Alright..." She started to move away but he stopped her, his human hand already already in her neck. He pulled her back in, their lips meeting and he gave her one of those toe curling kisses. She sighed happily into his mouth, and she could feel him smile against her lips.
"Did you mention something about dessert for breakfast?" He murmured against her lips and Carol started to laugh.
"You heard that?"
"I always hear you." He kissed her again, and she more than willingly kissed him back. Deep, unhurriedly and full of need for him. Something she knew would never change. He shifted, until he was lying half on top of her, his bionic hand moving to the lacy pair of panties she had been wearing. And then they were gone, no match to his strength.

He moved her leg up, over his hip and rolled further until he was between her legs. She felt him against her entrance, her heart already beating faster with what was to come. He pushed into her, and she gasped into his mouth as he slowly filled her up. Carol wrapped her legs around him, pushing herself down more and she could hear him groan. He was leaning on his bionic arm, his human counterpart found its way to her hip, lifting her. Then he started to move, slow at first but soon his speed had picked up like he was still chasing his demons away. She moaned, her hips meeting his, his thrusts harder and faster.

He pushed, she shifted her hips just slightly and the tension that had been building inside of her, that sweet release that had been begging to be set free, finally did so. She came, moaning his name into his mouth, feeling his own movements becoming erratic, his thrusts fast and hard. His body arched, her name from his lips as he followed her in that sweet release. Bucky slowed, their breathing rapid, their heartbeats not much different.

They shifted, rolling onto his back, Carol ended halfway sprawled over his chest. His arm came around her, and hers was flat on his chest. Her hand over his heart as she felt it beat against her palm. She let out a shuddering breath, drawing her leg up over his. She loved lying entangled with him like this.

"You owe me a new pair of panties." She told him, her voice low, but amused.
"You owe me dessert for breakfast." He replied and she started laughing.
"Fine. When I can move again."
"Deal."
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02-17-2019
07:25 AM
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02-17-2019, 07:25 AM
Nightmare - POV reversed. [In-Character] [Post #147]
When sleep came, it hardly ever brought good things.

Bucky was learning this lesson the fast and the hard way.

He didn't know why he was awake. Breathing was hard, something continuously stabbing into his left side. It was a haze. Just the single sensation standing out in a kaleidoscope of pain. The image of falling, Steve's face. Then nothing. Nothing but pleasant cold and darkness.

Until that voice roused him. That's when it began.
The end of everything.

Bucky went in and out. Glimpses of faces he had never seen before. Or had he? He was addressed as “Sergeant Barnes “ but somehow knew already that none of this had to do with his old name, his old life.

Each time he came to he could feel his body less. It removed him from the experience, made it appear like he was gazing at it through milky glass. The removal of the maimed left arm and eventually the appearance of a metal appendage.

Was this him? Each time he tried to flex his fingers, and eventually… They moved.

Tin man he had thought, had grinned, possibly giggled just before the strong sedatives had yanked him under again.

Then it began. Words floating in and out. Their meaning eluded him, and yet, each of them would trigger something.

желание

It was like a wish, a tickle. Something that needed to be woken. The need for strength. The need to persevere. Be more, last longer … A desire, driven into him so firmly, wedged between fundamental needs such as food and water and sleep.

ржавый

Drive something out, something old and no longer needed. Something so rusted and brittle it would not withstand, not support the newly granted strength.

печь

Pour it into the hearth, light up the furnace and forge the soldier. The elements out of which this man would be created needed to be melted down, moulded, formed and reworked. The weak and the breakable had to come out. All that was left in the end was a man of strength and stamina. Someone impossible to break or kill.

рассвет

Some come the dawn of the next day, James Buchanan Barnes could be reborn. Reborn better, reborn stronger. Forged from the metals of nature itself, driven through the heat of every furnace, every level of hell itself. He had risen from the ashes, a man forged with fire but cold as ice. The Winter Soldier.

Soon the four words were irrevocably interwoven. Like a multi-tiered cryptex. Just that this cryptex worked the other way around. It did not open the path to something, it locked away something else. Every tier was like a seal set against part of his mind, his heart, his humanity, his soul. Dressed like salvation, the truth was another. It was a prison, drawn around him tighter with each word spoken in sequence.

It rendered Bucky immobile. Silenced, bound, forced to the back of his own mind. Ever a witness to everything the Winter Soldier saw and heard. Pushed into the crevices and crooks of a broken mind, sometimes thoughts flitting to the front but so often left to do nothing bit silently watch and listen.

It was an endless repetition as his mind was first programmed by Armin Zola and his henchmen. Again and again, again and again, and each time he would find himself returned to the threshold between man and soldier by blindingly white pain that was driven into his head, Bucky shredded bit by bit to make room for more of the soldier.

Each time the white light returned, something was calling for him. Bucky found himself fending it off, or at least trying to. It was like a memory, welling up, reminding him painfully so, of what was being taken from him.

Bucky.

A brush against his chest, a whisper of fingertips across his cheeks.

Buck, please…

Part of him groaned in pain as he felt like he was pushing forward, working against something that was trying to keep him under. No, he murmured, somewhere in his mind, part of him so frantic in the fear that he would be forever pushed below the surface. That they would just not leave any room for Bucky Barnes in this mind, this body.

Then a chill raced through him and he pushed harder against the intrusion. Numbers entered his mind - seemingly random ones, seventeen, nine, one - and they almost pushed back the voice that kept calling for him. What was it they were doing to him? What spell had they invented to lock him down? Trapped in his own body, Bucky wanted to scream in terror.

[l]Listen to my voice…[/I]

Again this strange strength that pushed him back, forced him into a suspended state. Were those tears stinging in the corners of his eyes? And was that even possible? After all, Bucky knew he was not even in power over his own body. NO!, he fought back. The single-syllable, two-letter word the only thing he was capable of.

Bucky, you need to come back to me.

Come where? Go where?! There was no way out. He was here, trapped by Zola, by Hydra and no one would come to save him. This was it. The beginning of the end - hereafter, Bucky Barnes existed no more and the man in his place would forever be beyond redemption. Defeat speared through him with incredible force. No one would come for him. Not his regiment - not Steve.

No one.
No ….

Desserts for breakfast…
This tore at something. A spark of recognition cast into this endless void. Bucky gasped, gripping at the sliver of reality - a different reality - that presented itself to him. The sensation against his lips was warm when compared to the perpetual cold he found himself in. Bucky held still, waited, hoped.

Again…, he urged the disembodied voice that seemed to come closer. The feeling of being held down changed into something .. something gentle, something pleasant. A shiver raced through him as the seam where his flesh met metal stopped burning, stopped aching. Then he felt that same touch against his limb, the ghost one. The one that no longer existed. He could have sworn these were fingers against flesh.

Whatever Bucky had been holding on to, he let go of and a sigh escaped him. Behind his eyes the dark and cold world of his memory was slowly replaced. And then he knew the sensation …

“Carol?” he asked, his eyelids fluttering as he tried to take in his surroundings. Sleep would still misplace him so fundamentally that his usually took him a while to remember where he was, and with whom. She responded in the affirmative. Bucky registered her weight on top of him, trying to piece together what had just happened.

He had slept? That was why his heartbeat was through the roof? Since sleep for him generally meant nightmares.

“Why are you on top of me?” he asked, his words slightly slurred. Carol’s words were soft and he could hear the fear laced around their edges. He had had a nightmare. Bucky knew, he had scared her. He swallowed, thinking out loud that he wondered whether this was her way of waking him.

Bucky somewhat regretted the question when she responded.
"You were so deep in it, nothing else worked”, she admitted and Bucky sighed. “Do you remember? The nightmare?"

“No”, was his initial response. Not because he did not, but because he did not want to. Of course he remembered. It was part of his programming. He was not supposed to forget anything unless the debriefing followed by the mind wipe allowed him to. “Yes”, he eventually added in a sigh.

Through glimpses, Bucky saw her still sitting astride his lower body. What should have been a somewhat sensual position positively leading to more, was more of a statement of what the both of them were constantly dealing with. He swallowed, gazing at her form there - head hung, eyes closed.

Did he want to talk about it?
“Not now”, he murmured, feeling the echo of the clockwork they had put him through, had turned him into, ghost through him. Bucky did not want to go back there, could not.

She nodded, and Bucky knew Carol would move off of him now if he didn’t stop her. He swallowed, willed the stiff joints to move and reached up. Human fingers found the back of her neck, and with gentle strength he nudged her back down towards him. There, he could still remember the way her lips had brushed against his earlier. He captured her lower lip between his teeth, letting his eyes slide shut, before he initiated a kiss. His lips were slow, seeking her reciprocation, prodding for admission to once more discover and seek out her tongue.

Carol’s sigh chased a shiver down his back, and Bucky could feel himself smile. This was the kind of sound he knew he would never get enough of. Despite the ghost of his nightmare still lingering, Bucky knew it was Carol who had pulled him out. The idea to have someone to chase his nightmares away… it stood in such fundamental contrast to the memory of the sensation of being alone back then when Hydra had first sunk its claws into him.

“Did you mention something about dessert for breakfast?" Pancakes, he suddenly thought. But a block of chocolate would be just as fine. Carol laughed, and Bucky felt his own smile widen.
"You heard that?" she asked, sounding somewhat incredulous.

Bucky, you need to come back to me.
"I always hear you”, he murmured, lips capturing hers once more. The kiss with which she responded to him was the heady and intense kind which they so often shared. It sent a sensation through him that was like a wave, pushing out the cold, the terror, the pain. Bucky allowed it to fall away so he could focus on the woman kissing him with such open and unobscured need.

Without breaking the kiss, he moved the both of them, eventually settling half next to her, half on top of her. His bionic arm hummed to life for all but a moment as he made the fabric of her panties tear just above her hip. He pulled the fabric away, then rid himself of his own shorts. And this was enough, enough to make his blood boil and heat to rush down. Bucky moaned and his head dipped forward until his forehead touched against hers.

His eyes were on her face, roaming and looking and searching. He felt that sensation - longing - strong as it had been then, in his memories. And yet, this time it centered on something else. It was only for the woman buried under his broader form. Bucky pulled her right leg up, hooking it behind his lower back and rolling himself to that spot between her legs.

Was she holding her breath? Was this woman in blissful anticipation of what was to come? His shifted his hips, tipping them back to find entrance for himself. Her heat instantly engulfed him, went straight to his head, and her gasp was music to his ears. Bucky did not need to direct her further, Carol did it all on her own. Her other leg found its twin behind his back to aid his attempts to fully seat himself inside of her. A groan fell from his lips.

Bucky pushed his human hand down and behind her to help her find that position perfectly providing the counterpart to his.

And then he moved. Slow at first, then faster. He let his own desire run free, finding his motions grow harder this time. Bucky pushed himself into her, over and over, mesmerised by the way she so easily met him half way. Her longing matched his, every step of the way.

To find anything he felt, anything he needed and wanted reciprocated in such a manner. Bucky knew part of him had long given up on anything like that ever happening again. And yet, here he was, buried deep in this woman who was fast becoming his keeper in a world that no longer knew him, no longer had a place for him.

Carol’s eyes had slid shut, and Bucky knew she was close to her climax. She shifted ever so slightly and then there it was. And she let him see. Let him witness the full extent of her flinging herself over that ledge. His own name on her lips as she moaned it into his mouth, it was the sweetest taste he could have ever imagined. Her body appeared to clamp down around him, sending shivers up his spine as he tried to continue to move.

His rhythm faltered as her heat became too much and he felt himself follow her into this sensation of bliss. This, too, was a white and light, but it was the polar opposite to how it had felt in his dream

Bucky’s breath came in quivering bursts. He clenched his jaws down, swallowed, his gaze glued onto Carols face. Then he let himself, and her with him, roll sideways, watching carefully not to break the connection just yet. She felt so warm and soft against him, Bucky closed his eyes and felt grateful when her presence chased away the last lingering shadows.

"You owe me a new pair of panties." Her tone was amused and it made him pull up one side of his mouth in a grin.
"You owe me dessert for breakfast." His retort did not miss a beat and that made her laugh. Bucky knew he liked making her laugh.
"Fine. When I can move again."
"Deal."
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02-17-2019
07:41 AM
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02-17-2019, 07:41 AM
[In-Character] [Post #148]
Caitlin stood against the railing of the small balcony, her eyes locked on the scene currently happening in the kitchen. A smile curled on her lips, the couple she was watching not noticing that she was there. "She forgot you were coming?" A voice next to her, her current babysitter, hovering behind her in the air.

"No, I didn't tell her I was." She supplied to Benji.
"Are you spying on her?" He sounded amused.
"No, just checking on something."
"How come they're not seeing us?"
"Tapped into your sister's power."
"Dude, she's here?"
"Yeah, giving them..." She lifted her chin to indicate the couple in the kitchen. "... some privacy."
"Maybe I should..."
"Eh, no. Believe me, you don't want to interrupt your sister."
Silence behind her and she didn't have to turn around to see the look on his face. He knew what his sister was up too. She and Peter fused to the hip lately. So much people had found their significant others in the past few months. Her own hand slipped to her belly, her baby growing, and wondered how many other little friends would be running around soon for her to play with.

Her eyes focussed back on Carol who was laughing over something Bucky had said, his hands around hers as he stood behind her, helping her cut vegetables. It looked so domestic, and it made Caitlin smile. Carol had found her happiness, even Bucky was getting there. Allowing himself more and more to indulge in what she was offering him.

"You know, it could be considered stalking in a very creepy way."
"I know, but..." Cait had picked up on something only days ago when she had spoken with Carol, and it had nagged at her for the past few days until she had told Benji that he was coming with because she had an errand to run.
"But, what?" He looked at the couple as well, and she could feel his confusion. Caitlin chuckled, not really wanting to tell him what she was actually doing here.
"Just a female intuition." She told him amused. Which was surprising because when it had been her, she hadn't noticed. It had been Jax to point out the obvious to her.
"Yeah, I know that intuition. It means trouble for me usually." Benji muttered behind her.
Cait laughed softly, her eyes on Carol and reaching out with that part of her empathy that found connections. There was Carol, and even Bucky and then the other two in the next room over, but they were not the one she was looking for. She went a little deeper, her eyes losing their focus of the real world.

There.

Just a blip. Small, so very, very small. But it was there, right next to Carol's. A new life, growing inside of her friend's belly. Cait smiled, watching Carol being turned in Bucky's arms and how he leaned in to kiss her. Carol moved her hands around his neck, her head turned up to his to meet him halfway. They were already so much in tune.

"Maybe we should go." Benji commented, sounding a bit uncomfortable.
"We should." She smiled some more, and pushed herself off the balcony. Out of sight she dropped the invisibility shield she had borrowed from Valeria and flew off with Benji in tow.

Next time she and Carol had lots to talk about...
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02-17-2019
08:01 AM
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02-17-2019, 08:01 AM
[In-Character] [Post #149]
It was not quite noon yet. A snowstorm was chasing clouds across the skies over New York and daylight was losing the battle. The dark grey haze was persistent.

The night had been another sleepless one. The more time passed the more restless Bucky grew. Something was imminent. The Services had not given up on them. There was something in the works. Bucky would have bet both of his hands on it.

And yet, the time he had with this woman sharing this bed was one he treasured. Days spent in blissful doing nothing other than taking care of one another, or the nights, even when sleepless, there with her in his arms.

It was the literal fairy tale, he figured. Too good to be true.

Bucky could not help the sombre note simmering just underneath the surface. The soldier in him insisted that the tour he was on was far from over. The next mission would come. This was a pause at best. So when he got the chance he would sit. Like now. He would sit and he would stare. Silently he mapped her face with his eyes, following every line and every valley. He committed her to memory, praying that it would survive the relentless and repeated wiping the Services would put him through.

He knew he had to remember.

Carol slept. Like usually, sleep would come for her in the early morning hours. Just as time to get up drew closer, her breathing would dip lower. Her body found the rest it needed. And Bucky listened intently. He listened to the way the frequency of her breathing slowed, how her heartbeat would even out under his touch. A serene calm would settle in her and suddenly it appeared as if nothing in this world could unsettle this woman.

Was he imagining that sleep came earlier for her now? At first she had been as much an insomniac as he had been, but now … now the time when she slipped asunder came sooner, even if just by half an hour or an hour maybe.

So here she lay. Her knees drawn up, and the covers pulled tightly about herself. She looked peaceful, truly resting - and the idea made Bucky smile. It was the perfect day to be spent in bed.

And yet even as he smiled, willed himself to appreciate the moment, he felt the darkness hailing from afar. The time would come when the chasm between them would once more be impossible to cross.

Bucky let his head fall forward, fingers running across his brows and temples as he rested his forward against his hand.

When had it happened that he had started feeling so at home in this moment that returning to his very own cold and harsh reality was a daunting whisper just beyond the corner of his eyes?

“You’re going it again.” Carol’s voice was a soft whisper and it made him clench his jaw first before a smile, albeit sad, drove the grim expression away.
“Sleep”, he said as he looked up.
“What’s the time?” she asked.
“Just like half past eleven.”
“Snow storm hasn’t let up?”
“No. Should be all white and snowed in by this afternoon.”
“Come back to bed.”
Bucky shook his head.
“Buck …” she said, her voice a little more stern. “Come back to bed,” she repeated.
He exhaled, let his hand slip away and looked at her.

“Carol, what if …-”
“No.”
“Carol, we-”
“No.”
He huffed. “Car-”
“No! Bucky, no!”
He pushed air out of his nose, shook his head once and let it hang. His hands were in between parted knees, his shoulders hunched forward as Bucky sat across from their bed in the small room.

“I know…”, she eventually whispered. Carol’s voice was soft and closer than before. She had shifted towards him, sat on her knees and wild blonde strands framed her face. “This won’t last. No matter how much I want it to…”
“I don’t know how to push that away.”
“Don’t”, was all she said and Bucky looked up in surprise. “Because they won’t manage to keep us apart either…”
He exhaled, trying to find the belief in her face, her gaze, her eyes somewhere.
She reached for one of his hands and Bucky reciprocated the motion, fingers interlocking.

“It’s okay to believe it.”
“Carol …”, he said, unable to allow this kind of hope to take root.
“Come’ere”, she prompted him, slipping from the bed onto Bucky’s lap with a single, graceful motion.

She wore no more than a shirt while Bucky was only in shorts. Not a lot between their almost naked bodies. Bucky exhaled, burying his face in the hollow of her neck.

He breathed in deeply, still memorising, still mapping it out.

Every little detail.
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02-17-2019
08:15 AM
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02-17-2019, 08:15 AM
[In-Character] [Post #150]
Carol woke up with a start, feeling sick. She barely made it out of bed, to the small bathroom and hanging over the toilet before she upended the contents of her stomach into the bowl. A scent wafted into the bathroom and it had her throwing up even more. Her hair was being pulled back, a hand brushing her back and she just wanted to die right now.

"I don't want you to see this." She murmured between heaves.
"I've seen vomit before."
"Yeah, but..." Another wave and she couldn't finish that sentence.
"I'm not going anywhere." Was his solemn answer.
Carol didn't have the strength to fight him. Fine, he could watch her vomit.

Her stomach was cramping, her throat raw and tears were streaming down her face. God she must have looked like death warmed over. Sitting up right, after she was certain nothing more would follow, Bucky handed her a washcloth. A wet one. She scrubbed at her face, he flushed the toilet.

How mortifying. He had seen her puke. And he was still standing behind her, waiting.

"Feeling better?"
"I think so?" She answered, assessing herself. The sudden bout of nausea had disappeared, and it made her wonder if she had eaten something badly the night before.

"Breakfast is ready, I think."
"Yeah, not sure food is what I want right now."
"You should eat."
"I don't think I'm allowed, though. Didn't they say something like that?" Looking up at him finally, he was leaning against the sink. His arms crossed in front of his bare chest. She took a moment to appreciate the view.
"Didn't you request a local anesthetic?" He looked down at her, frowning slightly.
"Yes..."
"Then food shouldn't be a problem."

But the thought of eating, made her queasy again. Shaking her head, she tried to get up and got help from him. He pulled her in an embrace and she sighed, taking in his scent to calm down her troubled stomach. Whatever they were cooking out there, it wasn't agreeing with her. At all.

“I think I need a shower, and clean teeth.” She murmured against his chest.
“The first I can provide, the second you have to do yourself.” He chuckled softly.
Peeling away from him she picked up her brush, while he turned on the shower. Brushing she felt slightly better, the taste of puke being cleaned away. Bending forward she rinsed her mouth, taking in a few gulps of water to drink. Making her stomach settle even more.

“Shower is ready.” his voice was close, standing tall her gaze on the mirror, he was right behind her. A look in his eyes that she had gotten to know over the past two weeks. Turning slowly, he leaned in when she faced him. His lips warm against hers, her hands already framing his face as she kissed him back. She felt her top being lifted, breaking from him long enough for him to lift it over her head and discard it to the ground.

Her shorts were next, she stepped out of them when they hit the floor. He had his hands under her behind, lifting her up and settled her on his hips. Carol wrapped her legs around his waist, already feeling he had gotten rid of his own boxers. She moaned appreciatively into his mouth as he claimed her lips for another kiss.

They moved, or he moved them towards the shower, stepping inside the stall. Water hit her back, breaking the kiss she let her head fall back under the spray to wet her hair. His warm lips moved to her throat, kissing her there.

“I like showering with you.” she sighed in delight. Pulling her head from underneath the spray to claim his mouth again. He kissed her back, a smile on his lips. Turning, it was his turn to get the full brunt of the water. Her fingers gliding through the strands of wet hair, another sigh as she held onto him tightly. Bucky pushed her back against the wall, a cold wall and she shivered.

He shifted, she adjusted, and then he was inside of her and she moaned into his mouth. His movements were slow at first, taking his time with her while his mouth was doing the opposite. She liked that contrast, liked it a lot. It only turned her on more, only wanted him more. She doubted that would ever change. Her body ached for release, his hand dipping between them, another moan falling from her lips onto his. He found the sweet spot, just a few more strokes and she came crashing down around him. His name a moan, her body pulsing, shuddering, waiting for him to follow her.

A few more strokes, deep thrusts and then he was there with her. The way he looked when he came, it made her heart flutter.

She loved him.

"I like showering with you too." He told her, a smile on his lips. She laughed, her voice low.
"Do you now?"
"Yes. Very much so."
"Mmmh." She kissed him. "Same time, same place tomorrow?"
"Deal."
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Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end,
if not always in the way we expect.


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