Midnight Shadows Guided Games GENEsis: DOFP Genesis In Character Days of Future Past [Other] Winter is Coming [Carol / Bucky]


06-07-2019
10:58 AM
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06-07-2019, 10:58 AM
[In-Character] [Post #331]
Her brain slowly caught up with his words and her smile widened as it did so. Her eyes fell on his face, watching him close his eyes and she couldn’t help but laugh softly as well. To be honest she liked the sound of Mrs. Barnes, and wouldn’t get tired of hearing it roll from his lips… or hearing it general.

But she also knew that this wasn’t a proposal, knew that this was his way of making her see that she was his.

It made her wonder if she could ever see her as not being his, and just the thought made her banish it from her mind. They belonged, they had gone through hell to be with each other and she had literally killed her demon to conquer her horrors. Because she wouldn’t let them control her life.

Her hand moved to his face when he started to talk, when he pulled his head back to look at her. She smiled up at him, and softly shook her head.

“You’re my idiot, though.” She sounded amused. “And don’t take it back.” Carol told him turning serious as she looked at him. “I know what you meant.” And it made her feel so utterly loved, it warmed her deeply. Chasing away the cold that had been slowly seeping into her bones. The icy cold fingers that Steven Lang had planted inside of her.

“I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me where I belong, Bucky.” She softly said, dropping her hand to his chest, using her other hand to take his hand to place it over her heart.

“I belong with you. This…” She pressed his hand closer to her chest. “… is beating for you.” A smile curled on her lips after letting out a deep breath. “Maybe one day we could do the vows and everything but for now… “ She leaned in closer, the hand on his chest moving up and behind his neck to go up into his hair to pull him towards her.

“I don’t mind being Mrs. Barnes just in name.” She kissed him, making him feel just how much she needed him, how much she was his.

And then out of the blue, like he had been lying in wait…

“I ruined you for him” The words cut through her mind all of a sudden, and she broke off the kiss with a shuddering breath. Eyes closed, she took in gulps of air as she tried to push away those words. She wasn’t ruined, she just wasn’t. She would prove Steven Lang wrong, he would not have the last word.
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06-07-2019
11:30 AM
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06-07-2019, 11:30 AM
[In-Character] [Post #332]
A little bit like back to square one, that was how Bucky felt. How all of this felt. They were forced to basically start all over again. Find their ‘normal’ again, when a single man had obliterated their status quo. And Steven Lang had done quite a job, had he not? Carol barely holding it together when she needed her strength for what could be a problematic pregnancy. And him? He still suffered flashes of black outs. Just seconds sometimes. Some came with the pain that had lanced through the white fog engulfing his mind, some came without. It was too soon to make a full analysis, but by trying to re-implant his programming they had caused quite substantial damage.

One word still vivid in Bucky’s mind was impulse control. Benji had mentioned it a couple of times, and it worried Bucky. Because more than ever he needed to have his impulses under control. He needed to be level-headed, calm. He needed to always be in charge of himself to aid Carol in regaining that trust in her environment. Bucky knew she had trouble feeling safe right now – and he needed no shrink or telepath for it.

But he was willing to walk that mile. He was willing to put in all the work needed to help the both of them emerge from this. Once Carol was back on her feet, they could look as his mind. But for now, all strength and care had to go to her.

Her words had given him more than she might have realised. And the way she had pulled his hand, the bionic one no less, onto her chest. His palm had picked up the rhythmic thrum under bone and skin. Beating for him. Then her hand joined the other one behind his neck and he gladly let her pull him down to her so her lips could find his.

The kiss shook the ground under his feet. It was tender but fierce – as if to leave no doubt about whom she wanted, she needed. A heady mixture of love and yearning. All for him. And yet, whom was she convincing with this? Him? Or herself?

And as if on cue, Carol broke the kiss. Her breath was forced out of her with a shudder and Bucky simply reacted. He pushed one leg out a little for a better stance and then simply held Carol. “It’s okay …”, he breathed out but his heart sank a little. The kiss had felt so reminiscent of who they used to be, like everything could really fall back into place just like that.

But it didn’t work that way, did it?
It took time, and effort, and patience.

Carol needed to rebuild herself, and Bucky knew he had to be there with her every step of the way.

“Let’s pretend we’re teenagers”, he said eventually, his gaze seeking her eyes. It was something they had spoken about during that same night as they had dug their way through possible life models. Teenagers in his time had not been all that different from teenagers now. Just that people were much more adamant about pretending they were. Kissing … just kissing was the first thing kids did when they started dating. During adolescence that was a big thing, before sexuality shifted onto a whole different level.

“We’re thirteen. If your mom finds out you have a boyfriend, you’re in trouble. And I’m probably off even worse.” The smile on his face was honest, albeit somewhat sad. He meant every word. “So whenever you’re home alone, I come by … and we kiss. Nothing else. Just that.”

The Carol he had met could be outright ravenous in the sexual department. But for that, she had to feel safe, had to feel like she was being treated well – like her trust was well placed. Bucky knew he had to prove to her all over again that this was the case with him.

“You’re the best kisser in school”, he said, continuing with his little idea. “And I’m the guy they all envy because you kiss only me.”

Steven Lang had no room in this storyspace.

Bucky leaned down and brushed his lips against Carol’s cheek, then slowly found his way to her mouth. Maybe the needs of adults had to take a backseat for Carol to rebuild her sense of trust.
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06-07-2019
12:23 PM
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06-07-2019, 12:23 PM
[In-Character] [Post #333]
But it wasn’t okay. Not by a long shot. The fact that that asshole could interfere with her life even in death, made her furious. She wanted her life back, wanted what they had before Steven Lang had gotten his hands on her. She pressed her forehead against his chest and just breathed in and out as she got a hold of herself.

Her body was warring with her mind, where one wanted the man holding her right now, the other was making sure to project every single thing said and done to her in those two days.

Lifting her head, she looked at him when he offered up a suggestion. Them pretending to be teenagers. Frowning slightly, she wondered where he was going with this, for the moment her mind halting with the onslaught of memories. More curious about what he was thinking. What he was planning.

“My dad. I would be more in trouble with my dad.” She softly said, mirroring his sad smile. Thinking back about how her father had flipped when she had been spotted kissing the boy down the road from them. It had been an innocent kiss, but he had grounded her for a week. It was a good memory in the light of things, and it lightened her mood somewhat.

Especially when Bucky carried on, and told her that they would just kiss. Nothing more. Because that’s what thirteen-year olds did, didn’t they? That made her smile, and nod at him. She could do that, pretend that they were teenagers. Take it slow, build things back up.

And then she couldn’t help herself but laugh softly. “The best kisser huh?” Carol sounded amused by that idea, then again, the boys she had kissed had never complained. So, there was some merit to it. She nodded again, giving him that, her smile wide. She was back in the now again, her eyes on him, then on his lips and she wondered if they could kiss some more.

As if he could read her mind, he leaned down and brushed his lips against her cheek. She released a breath she was holding, waiting for him to arrive at her lips, and she eagerly greeted him there.

Slowly she kissed him, taking it easy and unhurriedly until she was out of breath.

“So, teenagers?” She asked, amusement flitted over her face as she looked at him and licked her lips, still tasting him there. “I like that idea.” Her heart was racing in her chest but not because of the horrors, but this time of anticipation of the next kiss they would share.

One step at the time, that’s what had been said to her. And as long as she could kiss Bucky without falling into a panic attack, she counted it as a win in her book. It was one step closer to getting better.

Taking in a deep breath, she looked at him, another smile curling on her lips. “So, Joy…” was all she said as she wondered what he thought of their adult daughter wandering around in this time frame.
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06-07-2019
12:52 PM
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06-07-2019, 12:52 PM
[In-Character] [Post #334]
The kiss was deep, slow – and not a road to anywhere. It was means to itself. It appeared that was what Carol needed. She relaxed into his embrace, allowed him to pull her close bit by bit until her entire length was flush against his. Bucky savoured the moment. The way she felt, the way she fit into his arms. It was so much the same, and so much exactly what he needed.

She was alive. Free. No longer in the hands of Lang. And on top of that, Lang was dead. The man’s sick obsession would no longer plague them. Carol would eventually be able to feel safe again. Or so he hoped.

Bucky, too, was breathless when eventually Carol broke the kiss. His smile mirrored hers and seeing her this relaxed and at ease with the moment allowed Bucky to wind down a little as well. “Teenagers”, he responded then shrugged with a smile. His mind was a little slower than usual catching up. The after effects of what had been done to him had burrowed deep and Bucky knew that if Benji were to release the fixes and blocks put into place, he would probably collapse. So he counted his blessings and accepted that sometimes he would take a moment to grasp what someone else was talking about.

So it did take a few seconds until his mind had arrived at the vision of Joy.

“Josephine”, he said her full name, not without marvel. “I’m not sure what to think about it.” After all, why would anyone put themselves through possibly disastrous side effects of something like time travel if not for really good reasons. “Makes me wonder what world she’s coming from…” He took a deep breath, pushing the overly gloomy take on things aside. “She’s got your determination … she’s got a stare no one in their right mind is going to argue with.” When he had woken with Joy standing above him, for a moment Bucky had thought himself coming face to face with a younger version of Carol. Her eye colour had given the first clue for his mind to realise that this was not his girlfriend.

“Did you see how she’s looking at the other guy … Thor’s kid … I mean, she’s too old to have a talk to her about him being ten years older, right?” He pulled up both eyebrows, then shrugged. “How do you talk to your adult children, when you’ve not even met their infant selves?!” Bucky knew that was another field in which he was completely out of his depths.
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06-07-2019
01:20 PM
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06-07-2019, 01:20 PM
[In-Character] [Post #335]
Yes, Josephine. Josephine Stephanie Barnes. The name she had already picked out right before they had been snatched. A name she had wanted to share with Bucky while they had been out, another thing that Lang had taken from her. Taking in a deep breath, she pushed that thought away. That man was not welcome in her thoughts, not when they were talking about Joy.

She focussed back on Bucky who told her that he had no idea what to think about it, Carol nodded in agreement. She was still trying to come to terms with it, mostly because it had been a shock to see an almost younger mirror image of herself staring back at her.

“Probably not a good one if she decided to come back to this one.” She answered, frowning slightly. She had asked, of course she had asked but Joy had been tight lipped about it all.

So, Carol hadn’t pushed. Mostly because she didn’t want to know anyway.

Hearing Bucky call out on Joy’s determination, and how she had this stare… it made Carol laugh softly. She was like the perfect mixed version of the two of them, and it gave her hope for the future of the baby still growing inside of her.

She would grow up to be a remarkable young woman. One who apparently was in love already. Carol snorted at her boyfriend’s question. “You do realise that age means nothing to Asgardian’s? Thor is millennia older than Kitty.” She pointed out, but it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Carol either that Joy was ogling Leif.

“I have no idea, Buck.” She told him honestly. “I had hoped we would gradually roll into the whole thing; you know start with a baby and go from there…” Carol sounded amused, and then sighed deeply. “But the universe decided to give us an adult version as well.”

Carol yawned then. She was getting tired, sleep had been elusive, and it was taking its toll on her.

“Could we do the teenage thing and try cuddling in bed?” She asked, wondering how that would go. If her mind would allow for that to happen.
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06-07-2019
01:48 PM
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06-07-2019, 01:48 PM
[In-Character] [Post #336]
Thor and Kitty were grown-ups, and not their children, Bucky wanted to remark. He shrugged. “He’s a guy above thirty. She’s just come of age. Let me repeat … a guy above thirty.” Certain things had not changed in the seventy years he had been under. Certain things, Bucky was sure, would never change.

Then she went on, commenting on the fact that for them now two versions of their daughter existed. Bucky still did not know how to handle that. He nodded and leaned back slightly to let his gaze drop to her still very flat mid-section. It would be a bit longer until she would show even when fully clothed. “I’m glad the baby version and her mommy are fine.”

He looked up just as she yawned. Her question brought the smile back to his lips. Bucky nodded. “Sounds good”, he agreed, surprised how content he was with the idea to finally crawl into bed with her together again. Just holding her after she had locked herself away from him ever since their rescue.

Bucky pressed a kiss to her cheek, before stepping back and taking her hand in his. He moved towards the roof exit – the door that would lead them back inside. He considered stopping by to see Benji for another check up but decided against it. He doubted that the other man had told Carol much if anything about his mental state. Bucky figured now was not a good time to spring the news on her.

When a few minutes later, Bucky stepped into their room, he let her close the door. He kicked off his shoes, and pulled the sweater he wore up and over his head. Underneath it was a shirt he did not remove. To her benefit. And additionally to hide the remainders of red welts and electrical burns marring his back. The damage done to his mind was apparently slowing down his healing factor. Brain damage was the nasty word Benji had used. So instead, he took off his socks and sat onto the bed in track suit pants and shirt.

For a moment, he just regarded her, before reaching out and taking her hand by her index and middle finger. He gently tugged her closer, his hands eventually coming to rest of Carol’s hips. He pushed his forehead against the spot where her navel would be. His hands moved and reached for the hem of her sweater. “Do you mind?” when she shook her head, Bucky slowly pushed the fabric up to expose her stomach.

“Josephine”, he murmured, pressing his eyes shut tightly for a moment. His lips pressed a kiss to the skin just below the navel. “I’m glad you and your mommy are okay.” Then he let his arms sneak around her midsection as he embraced her, pushing the side of his face against the skin of her stomach.

“I love you”, he murmured, holding her like this, knowing fully well he wouldn’t have known what to do had Lang taken her, their daughter or the both of them from him.
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06-07-2019
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06-07-2019, 03:30 PM
[In-Character] [Post #337]
“And you think that’ll be better in ten years’ time when she’s thirty?” Carol asked amused, she wasn’t happy about it either. Far from it. After all, this was still her daughter they were talking about, but it seemed that Joy knew what she wanted, and there were little her parents could do to deter her from that path.

Hadn’t Bucky just declared that she had her mother’s determination? And it hadn’t stopped Carol from wanting Bucky and doing everything in her power to make that happen. Even if with a little bit of outside help.

“I’m glad too.” It had been her greatest concern when she had returned, that her baby hadn’t been injured in any way. Caitlin had given her an ultrasound, making sure everything was fine. Carol had cried seeing and hearing the heartbeat of her little peanut. After that she had somewhat pulled herself together and gone to see Bucky, only to find him still unconscious and Benji frowning, with sweat on his forehead.

She let out a sigh when he agreed to go to sleep with her. A small knot formed in her stomach, anxiety trying to take over.

Carol pushed it back. If just the thought of cuddling would do this, then she was even more broken than she had realised. But she wouldn’t let it win. No. Just cuddling. Just being hold until she fell asleep and could recharge her body. She let Bucky guide her off the roof, and back to their room and a shuddering breath escaped her when she closed the door behind them.

Alone. They were alone in the room.

Her eyes fell on his form, watched him get rid of the sweater and socks, but he stopped there. He sat on the bed, wearing just a shirt and his track pants, and she had subconsciously gotten closer to him. She only realised this when he reached out and took her hand, tugging her closer to him. In her mind this was a good thing. Having feared to turn into a deer caught in head lights when clothing would be taken off.

Taking in a deep breath, she looked down at him, watching his every move. As long as she could see what he was doing, she was fine. His hands on her hips, her forehead against her tummy… she let her own hand travel through his hair. Letting her fingers slide through the strands. It was soothing her. So, when he asked if she minded, knowing that he meant to push up her sweater, Carol shook her head. No, she didn’t mind.

Her other hand rested on his shoulder, a smile curling on her lips when he uttered their daughters name.

Sighing when he pressed his lips against her skin, their warmth sending shivers through her body. Another smile when he declared that he was glad that she and her mommy were okay. He pressed the side of his face against her stomach, his beard scratching her skin, tickling her even.

“I love you too.” She whispered back, and then couldn’t help but laugh softly. “That tickles.” Her fingers went to his beard, letting the tips go through it, to indicate what was tickling her.

Stepping back before the moment would be ruined by an unwanted memory, she took his hand and pulled him with her on the bed. Where she normally would have gone to his right side, this time she picked his left as she waited for him to lie on his back. Waiting until she could crawl next to him and then waiting for the panic to come, but when his left arm settled around her, she sighed in relief when the panic stayed away.

Her own hand snuck to his chest, letting it rest over his heart. “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do this anymore.” She confessed softly, one of the reasons she had taken her distance from him. Because she didn’t want to face reality if she hadn’t been able to lie in bed with him.

“I’m sorry I tried to push you away.” Because she knew now that if she didn’t let him in to help her, they would be lost. And after going through hell and back, she would not give up on them.
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06-26-2019
08:35 PM
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06-26-2019, 08:35 PM
[In-Character] [Post #338]
Carol stood in front of the window of their new bedroom, staring outside into the dark. It was night and she had woken up earlier from one of her dreams. For once, Bucky hadn't woken up with her and he was still vast asleep in their bed. She had one hand on her stomach and one on the window to let the coolness seep through.

She had urged for the new space, wanting to move on from the horrors. A fresh start. Bucky had made it happen, that wonderful man had pulled through and within a day they had moved into this two bedroom living area with a private bathroom. It even had a small kitchenette. It still needed decorating but for now, for now it was perfect for them.

For the three of them.

Closing her eyes, she sighed deeply. She had gone back to being tired again, luckily the nausea had stayed away and her mind was on the mend. Except... It wasn't going as fast as she wanted, and it hadn't gone unnoticed that she had favoured sleeping on the other side of the bed, putting her on Bucky's left.

Cait had warned her it would take time.

Turning away from the window, her eyes fell on the sleeping form of her boyfriend. He was sound asleep, worry for him mingling with worry for herself. Something was up with him but he wouldn't tell what was wrong. She just knew something wasn't right.

He looked so peaceful, it settled something inside of her, it eased out the tension somewhat, tension that had been slowly building inside of her ever since she woke from that dream.

A dream that couldn't come to fruition but had her rattled anyway.

The day before she had given him the USB drive, told him what was on it and he had taken it from her hand and Carol had watched him crush it with his bionic hand. The pieces had fallen to the floor as he completely crumbled the thing, his gaze on her the whole time as he did so.

She had cried afterwards and he had silently taken her into his arms.

In her dream it had gone quite differently. She had given him that USB and he had watched what was on it. After that he hadn't looked at her the same way again. There had been something in his eyes, those gorgeous blues, that made her realise that he would always see her as the woman in that video. She had cried then too from the sudden loss she had felt, and it had woken her up.

Leaning against the windowsill she wrapped her arms around herself, his scent wafting up as she did so. She had gone back to wearing his shirts, needing the extra comfort. The extra protection.

"Carol?" His drowsy voice drifted towards her, making her look up.
"I'm here." She answered.
"Bad dream?" He sat up slowly, rubbing his hand over his face and then through his hair as his eyes fell on her.
"Yeah."

He just looked at her, and it made her push away from the sill and walk back to the bed. She crawled onto it, and sat down next to him. He shifted, putting him closer to her and she took his bionical hand in hers.

"Tell me?" He asked softly. Carol looked down at his hand, her fingers playing with his and she felt her heart skip a beat. For a moment she considered not telling him, but she didn't want to create a chasm between them by keeping things. That was not how they operated.
"You watched the video."
"In your dream."
"Yes."

His other hand came up for comfort and Carol slightly jerked, not intentionally, but he still noticed and his hand stopped its forward momentum.

"No." She said, hating herself for reacting like that, taking his hand and placing it against her cheek. She closed her eyes, leaning into the touch and let the warmth of his human hand wash over her.
"You winced."
"I did." His thumb softly started to stroke her cheek and the initial panic subsided. It still made her hate how she reacted though. The bed dipped, and she opened her eyes to see him move closer to her. She hated how she was walking on her own eggshells around him, waiting for a panic attack to take her over.

She missed his touches, knew that he was being careful around her and that he was letting her set the pace but she didn't know how to make the first step. Didn't know what initiating intimacy would do to her state of mind.

His idea of just kissing like they were a couple of teenagers had worked. Her mind had accepted that there was no threat, and god did she love kissing this man. But her body had been craving more than just his kisses, and if they stuck with the teenage analogy wasn't that normal at some point? And her body remembered perfectly fine what this man could do with it in the throes of passion.

Carol looked at him, shifting her head and pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand. She moved closer to him, pressing a hand to his chest and leaned in to kiss him. The hand on her cheek moved to the back of her head, and the kiss deepened. She felt herself respond, felt her heart speeding up in a good way, and so did his.

It made her bold, made her think that she could do this as she pushed him on his back.

And she could, enough with the damn panic attacks. Enough with not being able to have her wicked way with her boyfriend. The rhythm in her chest changed a little but she ignored it, instead she crawled on top of him and waited for the feeling to subside. They had gone this far before where she sat on top and kissed him. It had put her in control, it had given her the freedom to break things off if she wanted.

Except now she had different ideas than just kissing. She wanted more.

She guided his metal hand to her hip, and she let it rest there. So far, so good. No panic, she could handle this. She could.

Carol broke the kiss, her breathing uneven, affected by the kiss and she licked her lips. She sat up, his other hand fell to her other hip and she stared down at him. She could feel her heart beating faster, and wasn't sure if it was because she wanted this or was starting to freak out.

Her hands dropped to the hem of her sleeping shirt, and she started to lift it upwards when those damn words hit her.

"I ruined you for him."

She closed her eyes, felt tears sting but made her hands continue with the motion. She could feel herself starting to shake, but she wouldn't stop. She needed to win this battle.

"I ruined you for him."

"Carol, stop." Bucky's voice broke through the war within her, his hands took hers and made her stop.
"I don't want to stop." She hitched out, feeling a tear fall down her cheek.
"This is not the way." He sat up, making her shift back until her behind touched the mattress, and she was sitting between his legs.
"Then how?" She pulled a hand free and wiped angrily at the tear. "I want you so badly I'm aching." Carol told him.
"Then we need to find another way." He told her, lifting his hand and brushing away another tear.
"How? I can't even lift my damn shirt in front of you without shaking." She felt frustrated, angry with herself for being broken.

His eyes locked with hers, searching for something, and then she saw the determination in that gaze and for the first time she felt anticipation stir inside of her. In a good way.

"Trust me." He said.
"You know I do."
"We'll go as far as your mind will allow it, okay? One step at a time."

Carol looked at him for a moment, that anticipation growing and warring with the sliver of panic that wanted to take over. She could back out, could try again later, but wasn't that what she kept telling herself for the past few days? That she would try later?

No. Because later would never come if she kept telling herself this. So, she gave him a nod.

"Okay. One step at a time." She agreed, her eyes on him.

His hands moved to the hem of her shirt, and his eyes never left hers. He started to lift the fabric up at a slow pace but that made the panic grow. "Tell me." He said.
"Faster. Go faster." She urged him and in one move the shirt was up and over her head and on the floor. Her heart was thumping in her chest, and she wanted to bolt from the bed. It was a small miracle that she didn't. "Don't look." She whispered.
"Okay." And he kept his eyes on her face.

They sat there for what felt like forever, but she was sure they were just minutes, her heart slowed down enough for her to take in a shuddering breath. She was sitting in her panties in front of him and all her mind was coming up with was that she was looking hideous. That he would see the scars. But there were none. They had been taken away by Kira.

She looked at him, this gorgeous man who hadn't wavered and hadn't looked down because she had asked him not to. That settled something else inside of her.

"Okay." She said, giving a slight nod and she saw his gaze dropping and she held her breath. Afraid for what he would see, which was silly. There was nothing to see.
"When will you start showing?"
"What?" She asked confused.
"The baby."

That made her look down as well, and she frowned. Forgetting for a moment why she had been panicking. "I think not for another month or three." She tried to remember when Cait had started to show. And then his hand was there, his fingers trailing over the skin of her stomach. She heard metal groan, and realised that she had grabbed his left arm and was holding on to him with a death grip. For a moment she had forgotten what the intention had been for her to go shirtless and just with one touch it had all come crashing back.

"Do you want me to stop?" He looked up at her, and Carol assessed what she was feeling right now. Mild panic but the longer he brushed his fingers over her stomach, the less it became. So she shook her head. No, she didn't want him to stop. She eased up on her grip, and let out a shuddering breath.

His hand moved up, his fingers trailing upwards between her breasts and her skin started to tingle. Carol pulled in her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Too much?"
"No, no. I'm good." Her voice sounded strange to her ears, and her heart was racing in her chest.
"Carol..."
"No, I'm good. Really." She still had her hand on his left arm, and she hadn't strengthened her grip on him. In her eyes that was progress.

After a moment, after her breathing had evened out he moved his fingers to the left, until he brushed over her nipple. Carol gasped, her fingers tightened but not out of panic.

"Stop?"
"No." This time her voice sounded different. Deeper. His fingers brushed over the little bud again, making it grow hard under his touch and she couldn't stop the moan. She bit down on her lower lip, the sensations of his fingers on her skin driving away the remaining tension. Her eyes tracked his, his gaze dipping to where his fingers were stroking her breast.

And then his lips were on her skin, starting at her collarbone and the tension was back. Her hand gripped his arm tighter, but instead of stopping he brushed his lips lower. Her heart sped up again, Bucky stopped, but she could still feel the featherlight touch of his lips hovering just above her skin.

"Give me a second." She told him, easing her grip on his arm.
"We can stop."
"I don't want to." And she didn't, she wanted him so badly but her mind was putting a dent in it. She was sick and tired of it doing that.

He pushed his lips back to her skin, a gentle brush, and she closed her eyes. He left a trail, his touch so gentle that her mind stopped being an ass and actually let her enjoy it. Carol let her head fall back, her free hand going to the back of his head and gripping his hair.

And then his mouth was around her nipple and she thought she was going to explode, heat pooled down to her centre. A moan slipped from her, his tongue swirling around the hardened bud and she gripped him tighter.

His hands moved down her body, making her skin tingle even more, making her forget everything. Making her see the difference, feel the difference.

He shifted them, his mouth still hot around her. Teasing, nibbling and she let herself fall backwards in a slow movement. Bucky guided her down, distracting her with his tongue until she was lying flat and he was hovering above her. Her hand was still in his hair, the other hadn't let go of his left arm. It was a good thing it could resist her grip, that he could stand his ground against her or else bones would have been already broken.

He released the hardened little knob from his mouth, and she could tell he was sitting up slightly. Could feel his eyes on her. Heard a rustling sound, but she held her eyes closed.

She tried to tell her body to relax, to enjoy this moment but her mind pushed her into a worry spin and she felt her breathing change. Carol held her eyes shut tightly as she tried to work through this round of panic.

"Carol?" Her name a question, knowing that he was asking if they should stop, and at the same time she knew that he was looking at her and she couldn't. She couldn't look back.
"I'm afraid." She whispered.
"Of me?"
"No!" Her eyes flashed open, looking up at him. He had gotten rid of his shirt, and he was a sight to behold. He was so handsome, and he was so hers. She must have projected that clearly on her face, in her eyes because when she searched his, she saw the same thing reflected in his. It eased her but it didn't take away the worry, the panic.

"I'm afraid of what you'll see." Her voice so soft, she wasn't even sure he had heard the words. She licked her sudden dry lips, and watched his gaze track over her body. She could see heat flare in his eyes, desire for her and then his gaze settled back on her face.
"I see you, Carol. Just you."
"Buck, he said..." She licked her lips again, her voice catching, and she had to take a deep breath. "He said he ruined me for you." She finally uttered the words that had made her feel so ashamed of herself.
"He didn't. He's dead."

"But what if he did?"
"What do you see when I touch you? What do you feel?"

And she then realised that he had been softly trailing his fingers over her stomach again, just an inch above her panties and she swallowed. Her gaze flashed up to his face, searching his eyes and seeing deep longing in them. Mixed with desire and heat. For her. He wanted her, heat pooled between her legs again and she felt her own desire spring to life.

"Kiss me." She sounded breathless, and watched him leaning in until their lips met and he kissed her with such a need that it almost shattered her. She loved this man so much. Both hands came up, thrusting fingers into his hair and holding on. Kissing him like she was a woman drowning. More heat filled her, and a soft moan escaped from her lips into his mouth. She could feel him smile against her lips, and then those perfect kissable lips were trailing a path down her jaw, her neck, her chest… Carol waited, waited for the panic to set in but for once, desire had taken over and it didn't leave room for anything else.

He lingered on her stomach, leaving gentle kisses there, and then his mouth went lower. Her body knew what he was aiming for, her legs falling wide and giving him readily access. He pressed his lips to the lace of her panties, going lower still and she held her breath.

She could hear Bucky inhale, knew that he could scent her arousal and that only added to her desire. Then his mouth pressed against the fabric, finding the right spot and she gasped, letting out that breath she had been holding. A moan followed.

"More?"
"Yes."

He kissed her again, another moan fell from her lips. Then his fingers were peeling away her panties, and her mind told her that she was now completely naked on the bed. But before her mind could start to panic over that, hot lips were back on her skin and desire overruled all negative emotions.

Her hands fisted the sheets, her back arching when his tongue licked through her folds and found that bundle of nerves. Unclenching her right hand it searched for his left, and she laced her fingers with his as he continued with his tongue.

Carol couldn't stop the moans, heard metal groaning again but this time it was because of the orgasm that was building inside of her. His strokes were slow but firm, circling her clit until she reached that tipping point and she erupted like a shattering star.

She came hard, her body shuddering, a loud moan dropping from her lips, and the most wonderful warm feeling filled her up as she rode that wave of ecstasy. He slowed down gradually, letting her ride out her orgasm and as she did, she eased down her grip on his hand and the sheets.

"You aren't ruined for me, Carol." He whispered against the soft skin of her stomach, pressing a kiss there as he moved back up and settled down next to her, gathering her in his arms. Content, she followed him there.

"Thank you." She murmured. "For not giving up on me." Her hand found it's familiar spot on his chest, letting the soothing rhythm of his heart ease her mind.
"Never." His lips brushed the top of her head. "I love you, Carol."
"I love you too." She snuggled closer, blankets found their way around them and she sighed contently once more.

Somehow she knew that she would be okay. That they would be okay. Just one step at a time, and they would slay her demons one by one.
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06-29-2019
04:01 PM
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06-29-2019, 04:01 PM
[In-Character] [Post #339]
Carol strolled down a hallway, tub of icecream in hand, and spooning it slowly away. She had found her favourite flavour stashed away in the back of the freezer, apparently hiding frozen veggies in front of it did work to keep food safe around here. She had been craving sugary foods a lot for the past few days, and instead of waking Bucky up in the middle of the night, Carol just went out by herself. Like right now.

Two weeks ago, she wouldn't even leave her room on her own. Always making sure someone was with her, and she hated the feeling that came with it.

But now, she was slowly making process, talking helped. She had her daily sessions with Caitlin, but while she could talk through her fears with her friend it had been Eva who had sought her out and told her what Steven Lang had done to her while she had been captive.

Just hearing the other woman's story, and then being able to share her own without sorrow or pity staring back at her, it had put a few demons to rest. Not all, but it was a start.

Eva understood her, and that was what Carol needed to further the healing process. That, and to see that there was light at the end of a very dark tunnel. The other woman had overcome her demons, had done so and had come out stronger. She even had found love while doing so.

It gave Carol hope that things would be okay, that she would be okay. The fact that she didn't freak out anymore when Bucky did that thing with his mouth was a plus, and they were slowly working their way back to doing more. She couldn't wait to have the hot sweaty sex her body was craving for, but her mind was refusing to let happen for now.

Carol sighed. All in good time.

She spooned another heap of icecream into her mouth, and looked around to see where her feet had brought her. She didn't recognise this part of the theatre, which wasn't a surprise since she hadn't actually make it out of her room much after she had arrived here.

It was darker here, and Carol frowned, it didn't stop her from walking further anyway. Looking ahead, she saw a dim light coming from a doorway and curiosity made her walk a bit faster.

Her mind told her that it probably wouldn't be smart to just charge towards an open door in a dark hallway but Carol refused to be cowed. The time for being a scared little rabbit was over.

Besides she was armed, she had a spoon.

Stopping in the doorway, she had to blink a few times to make her brain catch up with what her eyes were seeing.

"This can't be." She whispered, taking a step forward. The room was lit with a blue hue, provided by the cryo chamber standing in the middle of the room.

"So, they finally told you." A low voice carried over to her and Carol turned her head towards the sound.
"Clint." She looked at the man standing in a corner, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "Told me what?"
"That he's here, but seeing the surprise on your face I guess not."
"No, they didn't tell me." She took a few more steps forward until she stood in front of the chamber. Carol couldn't believe it, she was looking at Steve Rogers.

"How long has he been here?"
"Two weeks I think."
"Two weeks?!" She turned to look at him and he held up his hands.
"Hey, I only found out last night."

Narrowing her eyes, she looked back at the man who had been her friend for a long time. The man who had put her on the path of Bucky. He had his eyes closed, he looked serene, and when her eyes drifted towards the screen that produced his vitals she felt tears well up behind her eyes.

"He can't wake up, can he?" She whispered.
"No."
"Oh, Steve." Her voice broke, and she could feel the tears silently stream down her face.

She had no idea how long she had been standing there but someone touched her gently on her shoulder and Carol turned her head. Caitlin stood next to her, a sad smile on her lips. Clint had vanished at some point, probably to go get Caitlin.

"You didn't tell us." Carol sounded… disappointed?
"I did what was right for you and Bucky."
"By not telling us you found Steve?"
"Hon, a lot of things happened that day."
"Oh. That day."

"Yes. You barely functioned, Bucky was still out..." Cait pointed out and Carol just grimaced.
"Fine, but that was two weeks ago."
"And you needed to get better, and Bucky didn't need more to worry about right now."

Which was fair, but still…

"He's his best friend, Cait. You shouldn't have kept this from him." Her eyes drifted back to Steve, his vitals telling her that his heart was beating but there was no brain function. He wouldn't ever wake up.

"And if he wants to have a go at me for it, then fine. But I won't apologise for putting both your health first." Cait shrugged, looking at Steve as well. "Logan brought him back."
"Where did he find him?"
"The Raft."
"Shit."
"Yeah, we figured that they used Steve to start the Super Soldier program back up."

That made Carol look at Caitlin. "How long have you known?"
"Since we got a sample of Bucky's blood and compared it to Kate's."
"They weren't a match."
"No, different strain, but because they looked so much alike..."
"You surmised it came from Steve."
"With all the information we gathered over the past few months, yeah."
"Logan?"
"Logan."

Carol rubbed her arms, a chill crept up them. "I'm going to tell Bucky." Turning around, she left Caitlin behind and made her way back to the small apartment, where her boyfriend was still sleeping. Or so she thought.

The closer she got though, the faster she started to walk. Her gut was urging her on, telling her that something was wrong. Frowning she pushed open the door and walked straight to the bedroom where she had left Bucky.

He was still there but… It took her a second to comprehend what she was seeing. He was having a seizure, his body was shaking uncontrollably on the bed and Carol had no idea how long it had been going on.

"Bucky!" She ran towards the bed, crawled on top of it and tried putting her boyfriend on his side. It wasn't easy, his body was still shaking and she had a hard time keeping him on his side.

She brushed his hair out of his face, his face was contorted, looking like he was in pain.

"Benji!" She called out. "Benji!" She yelled again, tugging at the mental link she had with him. "WAKE THE FUCK UP!" She snarled down the line.
"What?" His voice sounded groggily, irritated, but when she looked at Bucky and made him see he was wide awake and in her bedroom in seconds. "How long?"
"I don't know. I found him like this maybe three minutes ago?" She hadn't been keeping time.
"Fuck, I knew this would happen." Benji grunted, placing a hand on Bucky's head.

"What do you mean?" Carol looked up at Benji. "You knew something was wrong with him?"
"The patchwork I did is failing. I told him that would happen."
"Patchwork?"
"He didn't tell… well fuck." Benji looked at her, shook his head and went silent for a moment. Bucky stopped shaking in that moment, and Benji sighed in relief.
"Tell me now."
"They did something to his mind. Tried to activate the programming but they fucked up. Made a mess of his mind, and left me to clean it up. I told him I needed more time, that this was just a temporary fix..."

And Bucky had been more worried about her than his own state of mind. Looking down at her boyfriend, he still looked like he was in pain. Her fingers brushed more hair from his face, and he let out a soft sigh as she did so.

"So what now?"
"He needs extensive work. I can do another temporary fix but that will degrade faster than the previous one. At some point he'll run out of time all together and there won't be anything left to fix." Benji rubbed his face.
"Can you do it?"
"Fix him completely? With what they did… We need all hands on deck." Which meant besides him, Beth and even Emma. "I'll try to patch him up for now." They both turned Bucky back on his back and Carol took his hand in hers as she watched Benji do his thing.

She sat there for quite a while, her head lowered and her fingers playing with Bucky's until they grasped hers. He was waking up. Benji breathed deeply, and was wiping away the sweat from his forehead as he stumbled back.

"You okay?" She asked frowning.
"I'll be fine." His voice croaked. "Tell him he's running out of time." And with that, Benji stepped through a portal and vanished from the room.

"Carol?" Bucky's voice sounded tired, and when she looked at him he barely managed to open up his eyes.
"Hey." She said softly.
"What happened?" He winced trying to move his head, his hand came up to rub at his temple.
"Headache?"
"Massive."

"Benji's patchwork gave out." She said, watching as he locked his eyes with hers.
"He told you."
"Yes, but it should have been you."
"You're right."
"Of course I am." She said, stretching out next to him and letting herself be gathered into his arms. "What are we going to do, Buck?"
"I don't know."
"I can't lose you." She whispered, feeling his lips brush against her forehead.
"That won't happen."
"Better not, or I'll kill you myself." She could feel and hear his chuckle, which made her smile in return. Her smile vanished though, and she sighed heavily, remembering why she had returned to their room to begin with.

"What's wrong?"
"I need to tell you something." She shifted her head just so she could look up at him. He remained silent, watching her and she bit her lower lip. Not even sure how to bring this. What was the saying again? Just rip the bandaid off?
"Carol." He said her name, pulling her back out of her thoughts. Right.

"They found him. They found Steve, and he's here."
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06-29-2019
04:41 PM
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06-29-2019, 04:41 PM
[In-Character] [Post #340]
The worry with which Carol had stated – seemingly right off the bat – that she couldn’t lose him kept circling in Bucky’s mind. So whatever Benji had said to her, the fellow had let slip that the make shift fixed they had put in place were failing. Bucky exhaled softly, making himself take in the form of his pregnant girlfriend next to him.

He took comfort from her being pushed against him so closely. Not so long ago this would not have been possible for her. Bucky counted his blessings.

Only eventually did he notice that silence had fallen between them. He squinted out of semi-lidded eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his eyes searching hers.

She moved her head, her eyes meeting his. Bucky just gazed at her, waiting. Something hung in the air between them. He knew her well enough to know there was something on her mind. She had told him that she needed to tell him something. Bucky now waited for her to start. When nothing came, however, he prompted her using her name.

“Carol”.

Her response, however, was a train of two sentences. Simple ones really. But Bucky could barely acknowledge their meaning. So he blinked, looked at her. He swallowed and tried to push those sentences in his mind somewhere. Somewhere where they fit. Somewhere they belonged. But all he found was a world that was a different one to theirs.

Steve Rogers no longer lived in this world.

Images pushed to the surface. Old times. Himself before Hydra had sunken its fangs into him. At the side of the man with the shield. The man in blue, red and white.

“Steve”, he said, repeating the name. Then a wave swept through this and it felt like a fist made of steel was squeezing the matter of his brain bit by bit. Bucky grunted, a pained sound raising from his chest. Those headaches would be his end, eventually. He was certain of it. “My head”, he murmured, for the first time letting his condition show in front of Carol. Not like there was a point in hiding it any longer.

“Where is he? Is he alive?” He added, his eyes tightly shut while one hand was balled to a fist a pressed against his temple as he waited for the pain to subside.
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